


Hold Me in Your Heart

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Affection, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Desperation, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Execution, Forbidden Love, Goodbyes, Happy Ending, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Imprisonment, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Love Confessions, M/M, Poor Loki, Sad, Secret Relationship, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 23:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8421985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: No one knew about Loki and Tony. No one knew what had developed between them behind closed doors and off the battlefield. No one knew that capturing Loki, that sentencing him, was going to be as much a death for the man behind Iron Man, as the mage behind the bars.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo. I have a few completed things just sitting in my folder. Since my updates have been a bit _off_ what with the vacation, I thought I'd also post one of them for you. So please enjoy! Heads up, though, it's an emotional ride ;)

“Hey, Loki.”

Loki glanced up from the floor of his cell.

You wouldn’t think something as simple as metal bars and SHIELD walls could ever hold Loki - and they couldn’t, normally, but Loki had custom-made Asgardian manacles that took away his magic and his strength. He still didn’t look any less dignified. He sat with perfect poise and elegance - but there was still something in his eyes that was just _tired_.

“Anthony,” Loki remarked. It was the first word he’d uttered since his capture.

Tony walked right up to the bars, but Loki didn’t move from his perch on the metal seat. Tony still tried for a smile. “You’re not even going to come over and say goodbye?”

“You shouldn’t have come.”

Tony let out a bitter laugh, a hand coming up to grip the metal. “You’ve been fucking me for two years, the least I could do was visit you before you leave for an _execution_.”

Loki didn’t smile, but he did stand and walk over. He near glided, the chains making no noise as he closed the distance. He stopped directly in front of Tony who looked up into that worn face. 

“You shouldn’t have come,” Loki repeated, his green eyes slowly taking in Tony’s pained face.

Tony could summon a grin, but it was as wrecked as hell. “ _We_ shouldn’t have done a lot of things.”

Loki’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t give any further reaction. Tony sighed and leant a little more on the metal, he brought his other hand up, his wrist slipping through the gap as he beckoned with his fingers. “Come here.”

“Is that wise, Iron Man? Is that-”

“Just shut the fuck up and kiss me,” Tony demanded and it finally made a hint of light crackle to life in Loki’s eyes before he bent down. He connected their lips as best they could with bars holding them back. It wasn’t a deep kiss, it wasn’t possible - but it didn’t mean either of them refrained from pouring their emotions into the touch.

Their foreheads were resting together when they broke apart and they opened their eyes. Loki sighed and the breath brushed Tony’s face. It made his eyes flutter closed as his fingers moved to stroke Loki’s cheek. He could remember all the times they’d curled up in bed together, the times they’d _laughed_ and when Loki has shown him worlds and images with his magic.

“You shouldn’t have come, Anthony,” Loki murmured. “You should be with your heroes.”

“I know,” he admitted, “but I had to see you,” his hand went up and slid into Loki’s hair. “I had to-”

“Shh,” Loki hushed and kissed him again, and Tony _ached_ at the gesture, because Loki always kissed his forehead or his cheek in comfort, never his lips - and it wasn’t right but it was _all they had_. And now even _that_ was all going to be taken away from them. 

“Go,” Loki told him, and pulled away. He forced himself back until not a single part of their bodies were touching. It left Tony’s arm outstretched in the air, unable to reach his lover’s resigned form even as he stretched it into the cell. “This is a useless endeavour.”

Tony gritted his teeth, because _fuck it_ , he’d run the numbers and short of breaking Loki out - and he didn’t know if he could ever work around those cuffs to free Loki’s magic - there was nothing he could do.

“Even in death,” Loki told him, “I will still watch over you.”

Tony scoffed, if only to cover the sob that wanted to come out. “Is this the part where you say we’re meant to reunite in the afterlife?”

Loki’s smile was a ghost. “Oh no, you will never fall as far as I, nor would you be gifted to someone like _me_.”

“ _Loki-_ ”

“It doesn’t matter,” Loki shook his head. “Leave now, before you’re discovered. You still have some time left in your mortal life and I expect you to enjoy it.”

He wanted to argue, wanted desperately to cling to some further time with Loki, but his watch was beeping and Loki’s eyes were knowing. He still had to try. “I could break you-”

“No,” Loki interjected firmly. “No, you will not put yourself beside me in this.”

“But I-”

Loki made a gesture, the chains rattling for emphasis. “Asgard will find me in but moments and with me, they will find _you_.” He shook his head. “You will _not_ jeopardise yourself for me.”

Tony gritted his teeth and slammed a hand against the bars. “I can _choose_ what I do and what I-”

“You will _not_ throw your life aside for me,” Loki growled at him. “I forbid it.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t exactly spell me to _stop-_ ”

“Anthony,” Loki’s eyes were narrowed but his mouth and voice were firm. Tony felt something catch in his chest as he held that gaze. “I love you,” and Tony felt fucking _suckerpunched_. “Please, don’t try to save me.”

Loki had never said it, never _implied_ it when they were together - not even when it had been late at night; when they were staring into each other’s eyes and the air was weighed down with emotions. When it had been _making love_ rather than something as simple or unconnected as mere pleasure. 

Loki had never admitted it then, so of _course_ he told Tony _now_.

Tony closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the bars. “ _Loki_.”

He didn’t hear the steps, but he did feel the fingers carding through his hair, the chain moving to lightly hit the bars as it swayed. “Hush, Anthony.”

“Loki, you fucker,” Tony got out around a dry mouth and a breaking heart, “I love you too.”

Loki stilled for a moment, before he let out an exhale of pleased surprise. “ _Oh_.” He then chuckled softly and played with Tony’s hair. “What a fool you are.”

“Let me help you,” Tony whispered one more time, even when he knew the answer, even when he didn’t raise his head to see it said.

He felt lips brush his head. “No, my dear, I cannot let you do that.”

Tony’s next breath was shaky and he made himself pull away to look right into Loki’s eyes.

“Loki, I-”

But his next words were lost, cut off by a loud noise and Loki’s widening eyes. Loki shoved him back and he stumbled, almost falling over onto the floor. The bifrost came down a moment later, ripping a hole in the roof and taking Loki away; his emotional eyes watching Tony the whole time, watching Tony as he was ripped away from the world, hours before Loki was meant to be taken. 

He left Tony shocked, alone and with a heart that was so far beyond shattered, there was nothing left to be broken.

* * *

Tony was up and out of the cell moments later, pushing through SHIELD personnel that were trying to get to the bifrost site. Tony only had one thing on his mind and he almost collided with Thor as the Thunderer came to see what was happening.

Tony punched him hard in the chest and demanded, “What the fuck just happened?”

“I do not-”

“Asgard fucking took him. Why did they take him? I hadn’t... I hadn’t finished _talking_ to him.” _I hadn’t finished saying goodbye._

“Why were you speaking to my brother?” Thor questioned, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Because I,” Tony barely kept his breath from hitching, “because I fucking _was_ , okay? Now, why did they take him?”

Thor shrugged, still looking confused. “Heimdall must have been wary of him escaping. They would have taken him, if they believed he was up to mischief.”

Tony felt cold all over. “They were... they were listening?”

“Loki has no means of hiding himself any longer. Why? What did you speak to my brother about?”

Tony took a shaking step back, swallowing around a lump in his throat and seeing Loki’s face over and over again, his panic, his _realisation_ before the beam hit and he got Tony out of the way. _God_ , what was he going through now? Taken up to Asgard without preparation and fuck, probably worried about him, worried their relationship had been discovered.

 _But it already has._ Tony closed his eyes and felt a wave of numbness wash over him. _And I can’t ever get him back._

He only opened his eyes when Thor grabbed his upper arm and dragged him out of the hall. He pulled him back into Loki’s cell. Tony flinched slightly at seeing the room, but Thor didn’t notice, neither did the SHIELD agents as Thor yanked him to where Loki had been standing.

Tony didn’t know what to expect, he didn’t really _care_. He looked around the cell despondently and thought only about Loki.

He did get derailed a little when Thor swung his hammer and _blew them the fuck out of SHIELD_.

“Shit!” He shrieked, clinging onto Thor as the demi-God flew them away.

They didn’t go far, a couple of hundred metres, but _definitely_ enough to be out of surveillance range. Thor let him go and he stumbled slightly, grabbing onto a nearby tree to steady himself. Tony was glad he was holding it when Thor remarked, “You were having relations with Loki.”

_What is the fucking point?_

“Yeah, I was.”

“You cared for him?”

“Cared for him?” Tony spat, glaring at Thor. “There is no _past fucking tense_ on that Thor. He... I.” Tony closed his eyes and leant further against the tree, feeling emotions bubble in his chest and tears sting at his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, even if he’s gone, I’ll still love him.”

The clearing was silent for a long moment before he felt Thor’s hand land on his shoulder. Tony jerked and looked up at the Thunder God. Thor looked... old. He looked like a person who had withstood countless centuries and was feeling that age in his bones.

“I did not know, Tony. I will go to Asgard, I will speak on your behalf. I cannot overturn the decision but I... he will spend some days in Asgard, it is your right as his partner to spend those with him.”

Tony let out a choked laugh. “Not sure he’ll want me there. Not sure I’ll be able to take touching him, and knowing I’m going to lose him, no matter what I fucking do.”

Pressing his forehead against the tree, he ground against the bark, trying to use the physical pain to distract from the emotional one. To keep the tears from falling. 

“If he cares for you as you do him-”

“He won’t want me to see him like that,” Tony finished roughly, “Chained. Beaten. Pained. He won’t want to see me and know he’s hurting me.” Tony’s voice almost failed him, it certainly cracked halfway through the next words, “He never liked s-seeing me hurt.”

Thor fell quiet before squeezing his shoulder again. “I am sorry, Tony.”

“Hah, what can you do?” Tony asked, “I fell for a guy I was never going to get to keep.” A tear did slip free as he admitted, “I wanted to. Fuck, I would have broken him out if he’d only _let_ me.” He turned on Thor and punched him again, angry and agonised and unable to do a fucking thing about it. “Why wouldn’t he _let_ me? He was a _bad guy_ and he wouldn’t let me... wouldn’t...”

“Perhaps, he finally found a reason to seek his redemption.”

“ _Don’t_ ,” Tony hissed.

“He found a reason to be _good_ and to be held accountable for his actions. He found someone to love.”

Tony slapped him again, his voice warbling, “ _Don’t_.”

“He chose the path of good for you.” Thor smile was sad, but his eyes were bright. “You made him honourable.”

“I don’t give a _fuck_ about honour, Thor.” Tony shouted, pushing away and clenching his fists. “I just want _him_. He didn’t have to be so _stupid_ when I would have got him out, I would have found a _way_. He just needed to let me try. He just needed to-”

“Let you become just like him? A criminal in the eyes of your world and mine?” Thor cut him off softly and made Tony’s shoulders slump. “He has done the only thing my brother would ever do for those he loves; protected them.”

Tony collapsed back against the tree, sliding down until he was crouched on the ground and staring into nothing. Thor came a few steps closer before taking a seat beside him in solace and comfort. “I will speak with the Allfather and see what can be done.”

“He won’t want me there, Thor,” Tony whispered painfully, but Thor just repeated himself.

“I will see what can be done.”

Tony just nodded in the end, if only to finish the conversation. He rested his arms on his knees and pressed his forehead to his wrists. He tried not to think about Loki, but it was all Tony could see when he closed his eyes; his lover’s beautiful eyes and expressive mouth.

Loki’s words were all he could _hear_.

_Anthony, I love you._

Tony curled up even further into himself and let the pain wash over and bury him deep.

Because he knew when Loki was killed, a part of him would be dying too.

* * *

Thor left him an hour later, but he was nice enough to take him back to Stark Tower so he wouldn’t have to see anyone. Tony put the place on lockdown, sent a not-so-cryptic message to Pepper and got completely smashed on the first bottle of alcohol he could get his hands on.

He kept himself in that drunken haze for the first three days after Loki was taken, and was eventually dragged out and under a shower by Rhodey, with Pepper hovering nervously in the background.

They asked some pointed questions until he ended up explaining and crying rather pathetically on the couch with Rhodey’s arm around his waist from behind and his face pressed into Pepper’s blouse.

It hadn’t been pretty and he’d been so drained afterwards that it took the two of them carrying him to bed for him to even get there. They both climbed in after him and it was their presence that was probably the only thing that helped him sleep soundly.

(He woke up searching for Loki and felt a stab of pain when he realised it wasn’t his lover that was there. Would _ever_ be there again. He almost went for the bar again, when he pictured just where Loki might be now and it took Rhodey rubbing his back and Pepper getting him coffee before he could get his thoughts back onto something else.)

He spent the week as a complete mess, half hoping Thor would come back so he could see Loki, half wishing that he _wouldn’t_ because he didn’t know what he’d do, if he had to say goodbye to him again.

When the eighth day past he just... stopped.

He’d heard the decree, he knew _when_ Loki was meant to be... he knew it came, he knew it _passed_ and Tony threw up for a reason that was unrelated to alcohol and clung onto Pepper like the only anchor in a storm.

He didn’t know what he said, didn’t know what he’d poured out because he didn’t remember it the next morning. Pepper had made him take a sleeping pill and when he woke up hours later, her worried face was there to greet him.

She’d tried to get him to eat breakfast, but hadn’t pushed when he’d said no. She’d just curled up around him on the couch and let him hold onto her. Tony talked to her softly, told her about Loki and all the things they’d hidden in their two years together. 

It hurt as much as it helped, telling her all the reasons why he loved him, and all the ways he didn’t know what to do with himself without the mage there by his side.

Pepper and Rhodey took up residence in the penthouse, keeping him company and listening to all his stories. They kept anyone from trying to talk to him, kept _him_ away from any further alcohol and forced him to eat at least one meal a day.

It had just past the second week when the sound that haunted his nightmares crashed down on the landing pad.

He’d flinched violently and shut his eyes tightly. He hadn’t wanted the confirmation, for all that he _knew_ Loki was gone, he hadn’t want it to be told to him.

Rhodey however, shook him roughly. “Tony. Tony _look_.”

He clenched his fist and his teeth, but did what Rhodey asked – only to freeze, going completely rigid as his heart leapt with far too much hope.

Tony stumbled off the couch and ran for the door to the landing pad, yanking it open and stopping, just to stare. Thor was there, and just behind him was Loki. 

Loki wasn’t in cuffs or chains. He was wearing a soft black tunic and pants. It was nothing like his armour and he looked... nervous as he stood gazing at Tony. “Anthony-”

Tony flew at him, colliding with his lover and almost making them topple backwards. Loki let out a hard, slightly pained breath, but Tony just dug his fingers into Loki’s back and hugged him close. Loki’s arms came around him too and he clung on just as tight, burying his nose in Tony’s hair and kissing his temple and skin.

Angling his head, Tony caught Loki’s mouth in a harsh, desperate kiss and was met just as frantically as they held each other and gave themselves a few moments, a few _minutes_ of just being together.

When they pulled back, Tony smiled with relief and while Loki matched it, there was something almost shaky about it, and it made Tony’s heart fall.

“What? What is it?” He clenched Loki’s shirt tighter, holding it in his fists and refusing to let go. He wanted to ask Thor, but he was terrified to look away from Loki for a second. He made himself ask the question he dreaded, “Why did they let you come back here?”

 _It is your right as his partner_ , Thor had said. What if this was it? A few days together before...

Tony buried his face back in Loki’s neck and breathed him in.

“I... Thor spoke on our behalf,” Loki murmured quietly, “and Heimdall relayed what he saw of my time in the cell. And of your time here,” he felt tentative fingers stroking him soothingly. “Frigga... Frigga made her own appeal and,” Loki’s hands spasmed on Tony’s back, “they granted me an alternate sentence.”

Tony’s eyes opened, staring at Loki’s neck and feeling his pulse beat wildly. Pulling back slowly, he flicked his eyes over Loki’s face. “What... what sentence?”

Loki swallowed but didn’t speak, he was looking at Tony the same way he had in the cell; like he didn’t have much hope for happiness.

“My brother has been made mortal,” Thor eventually explained and Tony whipped his head to the Thunderer before back to Loki, completely shocked. “He was given a means of having you, if he gave up his immortalIity to do so. He still has some magic, but to what extent, we don’t yet know.”

“You gave up your immortality,” Tony whispered.

Loki licked his lips. “But I still have magic.” He smiled a little. “And I can have _you_ , should you wish to-”

Tony kissed him, fiercely and almost painfully. “I thought you were dead,” Tony hissed when he pulled back, cupping Loki’s cheeks and feeling his eyes get watery for a different reason, a _new_ reason. “I thought... god, I couldn’t - _of course_ , I want you. Always want you.”

Kissing Loki again, Tony felt Loki laugh and smile as he responded back, his hands running over Tony’s hips and sides as they embraced.

When they eventually broke apart, Loki leant their foreheads together and told him, “I would have accepted without magic. I would have accepted anything if I got to spend more time with you.”

“I love you,” Tony told him, smiling far too shakily but meaning every word. “I love you. Move in with me?”

Loki grinned and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, pulling him even closer as he answered simply, “I would love to.”

Burying his hands in Loki’s hair, he drew him down again, unable to get enough, unable to spare even a _second_ apart from Loki.

God. And he knew he'd need to talk to Loki a bit more, and Thor too, find out exactly what else the reprieve had come with, but for now, Tony couldn’t have cared for the specifics at all.

Loki was alive and in his arms and that was all he’d ever need.

**Author's Note:**

> Awwh. Look at that, I _did_ give them a happy! I love having them hug like this x3
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
